An ongoing challenge for Bates is lymphedema, a blockage in the lymphatic system often triggered by removing lymph nodes during breast cancer surgery. The chronic condition causes excessive swelling in the arms and legs and affects 10 million Americans, “yet nobody really knows what it is,” says Bates. She’s now a spokesperson for the Lymphatic Education & Research Network (LE&RN). We caught up with Bates to talk about lymphedema, her newfound niche in TV and ditching the prosthetics after a double mastectomy.
Cancer and its aftermath changed my outlook in a profound way. I’ve become less of a hermit and I travel more. I really enjoy every moment of my life now. It’s not that every moment is terrific—we all go through tough times— but I try to be more present and grateful for the good times that I have. I realized that I had to get back in shape. I started walking more. I’ve lost around 55 pounds. Just being physically free of that extra weight has been liberating and has helped keep the [lymphedema] swelling down. I avoid salt and alcohol, too, because of lymphedema.
I’ve recently decided to “go flat.” I read that more and more women are doing that, and finally I came to the conclusion, “I don’t have breasts anymore, why do I have to pretend like I do?” I have prosthetics and I can put them on for a character, but in my own life I wear Spanx tanks under my shirts and I feel much more comfortable with that than having to strap on a bra with these fake boobs in them. That has given me a lot of freedom and confidence and I just feel better. TV has rejuvenated my career.
I’ve gotten to really push my envelope. Oftentimes, I’m cast as the sort of dumpy dishrag mother or best friend part, so to be able to play someone like [the twisted New Orleans socialite in American Horror Story] Madame Delphine LaLaurie, it’s a panoply of opportunities for an actor. And now I’m getting to do a sitcom with Disjointed. People will see a side of me they haven’t seen before. My two Yorkies are at the very center of my well-being and happiness. My favorite part of every day is when I get to come home and cuddle with them. Their philosophy is: it’s always a good time to take a nap. Wise creatures. I recently bought an electric guitar. I used to play guitar years ago. It brought me a lot of pleasure when I was a teenager growing up and was having tough times. Now that I’m navigating the waters of being older and going through some tough times adjusting to that, I decided I’d like to get back to what gave me joy.
My inner strength comes from my friends. I have a very close group of friends and family and we all help each other through our dark times. That love and support has really flourished in the last few years of being sick. I have really focused on mindfulness. That helps me make better choices both physically, psychologically, and emotionally. If something bad happens, rather than flying off the handle, I try to breathe and focus and wait till the anger/fear subsides so that I can really think through something and realize a) it isn’t about me or b) this is what I can do to change it. The things that I can’t do anything about, I have to learn to let go of.
I think I’ve been living my bucket list for the last few years. I’ve done and experienced so many wonderful things. If I went tomorrow, I wouldn’t be disappointed. I might want to go out and buy a Bentley or a sports car or something like that but then I’d think, “I don’t need all of that stuff.” But cars are always in my fantasy bucket list.
